My Mother's Day Mantra

Yesterday, on the way to preschool, my five year old twins told me what they could make me for 'breakfast in bed' on Mother's Day.  However, there were many caveats to what was truly available for my 'picking' if they were preparing it on their own.

• Toast - with strawberry jelly, said my son Kaiden.  Madyson piped up and reminded him that Daddy had banned them from using the toaster since the electricity problem - and that it can kill them (I can't even imagine the story that goes with this....I'll have to ask my husband what happened sometime).  So they changed their mind - just bread with jelly.
• A Banana
• Orange Juice
• Cereal...any kind I want!  And they both agreed that Madyson had poured milk in the past and that she would not make a mess.
• They would hand deliver it on an old metal 'breakfast in bed' tray they had in the basement.  It has a fox, bear, and beaver on the front of it that they took from their Great-Grandma's house a couple years ago.  One of the little support legs is broke, but they assured me it still worked.

Our twins go to the Governor's State for preschool, so the trek there from Homewood is about 20-25 minutes each way.   So, they discussed at length: who could carry the tray it up the stairs, if the entire gallon of milk should be brought up the stairs too in case I'm 'extra thirsty', and then, as if in shock - they both looked at me and said - HEY, STOP LISTENING.  This present is a SECRET!  They then began whispering in the loudest whisper known to man - where then I heard one of them udder - I think I remember how to make pancakes.  PANCAKES?!? I just kept driving along, pretending I wasn't listening - and starting to feel a little concerned that two small future proteges of Dom DeLuise and Julia Child were going to burn down our house Sunday morning at 5:00am.  But, isn't this what Mother's Day is all about? 

To be honest, the twins had heard somewhere, probably at school, that on Mother's Day - that is what you do.  Make a homemade card, and surprise your mom with breakfast in bed.  This is really the first year in their short five years of existence that the pressure is now off of Dad to produce a real gift.  They're conniving on a breakfast plan and sneaking around upstairs with their door shut to make a nice card or 'craft' that I'm sure I'll love.  Before this year, my husband would always buy a commercial greeting card for them to scribble their names in, along with lunch out - where I don't have to cook!  Don't get me wrong, all of this has been great, and is great. 

This year, the twins really are finally getting 'it'.  They are looking at it from the perspective of 'we need to do something extra nice for Mommy since she takes care of us every day', as my son explained to his sister.  So, yeah, they get it.  For that alone - I really am grateful....if it really is just the thought that counts.

But - let me let you in on a little known secret that all of us moms know - that many of you dads might be missing out on. (Disclaimer: Many of you great dads probably know the secret....so of course, I'm definitely not speaking to you! :)).  While the thoughts, homemade cards, and trashed kitchens from making breakfast in bed are all great, there is still something else that would even make the day - and even the rest of the year - even more special.  It's something that we never have enough of, and when we get it - and when we do have it, it's never just for us to use in larger doses that really amount to anything substantial.  What is this magic special uber-perfect Mother's Day gift you ask?  Well - it's one word....TIME.

I work full time, of which I'm in the city 3-4 days a week when I'm not working out of the house, I take my kids to multiple lessons throughout the week such as tennis and ballet and basketball, coach T-Ball, run errands for my husband, manage our house, travel for work, mow the yard, and work in our garden.  I think that time each day adds up to what feels like 32 hours..  I know....there is supposedly only 24 hours a day and that must include sleep as well.  On paper, I agree with you, but somehow I seem to not lead a logical life in this time warp called motherhood.  Too much to do - never enough time. 

I have found some success in carving out my own time.  When is that might you ask?  Well, probably when I would rather be sleeping.  I head out to the gym at 5am, or after dark when the kids are asleep, and I run.  Running is my escape, my dose of sanity, my only 'me time' each day where I can unwind, escape, re-group, and succeed in convincing myself that I am surviving this rat race called life, my children are growing up to be good people, my house is not as trashed as it could be, and my husband I love each other just as much - or even more - than when we met 14 years ago.  Yep, most of the world is sleeping, but I'm carving out some of my own 'me time' at 5am and doing a little 'personal therapy' on the treadmill at the H-F Racquet Club.  Don't worry, I'm not on medication, and I'm not drinking heavily to get thru these days.  Stop by any preschool drop off on Monday morning and you'll see moms just like me.  Ask them if they have free time.  Be careful as the laughing and/or slug to the face may not be what you were prepared for.

So, this Mother's Day - go against the grain of the typical commercial greeting card and an hour out to lunch.  Don't get me wrong, that is great too!  But also, give the gift that lasts the entire year - the gift of time.  Pick one night a week that you will take over the house - alone.  Cleaning up from dinner, giving the kids a bath and putting them to bed, doing laundry.  Let mom escape - say on Tuesday or Thursday nights from 7:00-10:00.  These three hours a week will be amazing.  She'll feel transformed, rejuvenated, and re-purposed.  We all get in ruts of feeling unappreciated and not-maintained (seriously....how many years has it been since I've known any of my friends to have a manicure/pedicure/massage?).  Or we all need a night where we can sit around with other moms and in a 'kumbaya' sort of fashion, re-assure each other that it's gonna be 'all right'.  Yes, us mom's - over a nice bottle of wine or half-price margaritas at Grady's or the Brewery, can re-assure each other that we're all 'going thru the same things' and that yeah - 'we'll make it'! 

So, don't worry that it's Friday night, you have 36 hours till Mother's Day - and no idea what type of flower pot or new kitchen utensil to buy your mom or your wife.  Sincerely look at your schedule...how can you help out?  How can you allow her to 'take a break'?  Not just this Sunday, but throughout the year.  Give her the TIME she needs for herself - to continue to be a better mom for your family, all year long.

All I'm hoping for at this point, is that a small four alarm fire doesn't break out at 5am :)