The Most Beautiful Day - to NOT run a Marathon

Two days have passed. 49 hours since I crossed the finish line of the GO! St. Louis Marathon and surprisingly - I'm walking, upright, and smiling! Well...not when I attempt to walk down stairs, but for the most part.

This marathon was my 6th marathon since my first Chicago Marathon in October 2004. That day was a max temperature of 47 degrees when I circled past U.S. Cellular field with my gloves on. I remember crossing the finish line that day feeling stellar...4.29.16 was my time and I truly remember crying and wondering how in the HECK did I accomplish this feat when I had only run one 5k before that day - just 13 months before?!? Well, 6 and a half years later, I am now an 'addict', as my husband says, have run 5 more (2 more Chicago, 2 Illinois in Champaign-Urbana, and now one in St. Louis) and can ultimately say that yes, I'll do another despite the pure TORTURE by body was put thru on Sunday. What is insanely strange is that I'm actually OK with this torture. I remember passing mile 10, the 'Half' turnaround...and thinking, I 'could' turn around here and be ok...but that wouldn't satisfy the crazy thing inside of me that feels the urge and desire to complete the full - something that few others can hang their hat on - miles that every race feels like are impossible, but somehow I get thru them - something that even after 6 races, I still am shocked, amazed, and uberly humbled - and in awe about - that I really did just complete 26.2 miles. It never gets easier or more expected that I will finish. Every race is unique and a struggle - and just as much as an accomplishment and amazement to myself that wow - Did I just complete 26.2?!?... GO ME!

I had always wanted to run a big race in St. Louis. Growing up in Raymond, IL - not too far north of the land of the Cardinals - I had moved to Chicago almost 10 years ago and still felt a strong attachment to the city and still think of it somewhat as my 'home'. I grew up going to the museums, the arch, seeing countless Cardinal games, and even worked one summer downtown for an engineering company, HNTB, to truly experience the life of the Lou. I have used running for the last number of years to get back to my pre-baby weight... ha! My twins are now 5.... I wonder when I'll stop saying that?

Anyway, my second marathon was in the fall of 2005 - The Chicago Marathon. I actually ran that one preggers - no one but my hubby and I knew at the time that out first 'bun was in the oven' - and I didn't even know until 5 days after the race that it was TWINS! Wow... maybe I shouldn't have run (says the logical voice in my head)...but of course, I slowed down and acclimated to my new condition so I could still complete the race (with the help of some pacing by my hubby) - per the mind of a crazy-marathoner who wasn't going to not run an event I had trained for - for over the last 5 months - nope, had to run. I took nearly 18 months off running big races after the twins were born and re-joined the 'marathon club' in October 2007. Well, we all know what happened in Chicago in 2007. Yep, too much heat, no water - was forced to walk the last 4 miles after being stopped at mile 22 and told we could be 'arrested for running'... (note to self...should have tried it. I have never been arrested but HOW COOL would it to be to have a record and tell people 'Yep, I've been arrested - FOR RUNNING!' After that legendary race, I even bought a shirt entitled 'The Thirst Annual Chicago Fun Run' in which funds actually went to the family of the young man, Chad Scheiber, who died that day in the race. After that day, I pledged to not pay money to the people at the Chicago Marathon any more... Yes, I knew they would fill to capacity again without my $90 entry fee next year, but I needed to take a personal stand - one that stated

"Not me - I'm not gonna support an organization that was so ill-prepared on that hot fateful day that allowed experienced and novice runners to not have proper fluids and then tell someone like me (who had prepared and was carrying fluids, well hydrated, and using this run as the 'Yes, I had twins, but I'm OK and am still a normal person run' deprive me of running my 'redemption marathon' like any other new mom in any other race in America."

 HOW DARE THEY!

So...another year passes and I run many 5k-10ks-and Half Marathons. Then, just two hours south of where I live, the University of Illinois announced they were putting on a NEW marathon in Champaign-Urbana. I signed up for the May 2009 inaugural event and got a PR! It was fabulous, flat, and more water and gu than any runner could imagine in their wildest dreams...and oh yeah - 2,000 marathoners, not 40,000! So, redemption was achieved and I truly felt 'back on track'. In 2010 I ran again as my sister-in-law ran the half marathon - great once again. After doing two in C-U, I decided to head to my roots and sign up for Go! St. Louis's full in 2011. Remember, a very important detail - my husband isn't a runner. Now, he runs random 5ks with me while I push the twins...he even ran half of a half marathon we did in Fayette County IL back in the fall of 2009. BUT, he doesn't just run for fun or exercise...he doesn't really 'get' my addiction :) I work full time, as he does, and I also manage the house and the craziness of the twins and our babysitter's schedules. I really don't have the 'time' to run. Period. Everyone tells me I don't have the time - I really think that is part of my inspiration for truly finding the time. I need it - for me - for my sanity. I know it's 5:00am or 9:00pm when I hit the pavement in complete dark with snow and ice cover everywhere - but it really is the only ME time I have. I find solace and calmness in clocking off 5-15 miles alone with my thoughts, music, and the sights before me. But, I have come to a complete agreement with my husband - one marathon a year. I'm ok with that. He does sacrifice quite a bit to manage the kids more and work around my training and race schedule at these times of the year - and more than once a year - at this time in our lives, is really too much - so I have gracefully agreed to this condition. So, 2011 was my year to run St. Louis! I signed up in the fall of 2010 and after paying my money (being the tightwad I am), there was no backing out since money was on the table! Also, I notified my friends and family via a facebook post which also makes it feel official. So...22 weeks in advance, I had planned on a nice, relaxing, nostalgic run thru St. Louis that would remind me of my childhood, my favorite baseball team, and a place maybe we would maybe relocate later on in life.

Fast forward to March 2011. I had a great training season. Nearly all of the first 9 weeks of my 18 week program were spent running outside...in the winter elements. Come February, I rejoined the local racquet club and began running long miles on a tread mill (to avoid the Blizzard of 2011!). All in all, things were great. We went on vacation to California two weeks before the race and enjoyed some great 70 degree runs thru Napa and absolutely picture-esque conditions. Reflecting on the previous 18 weeks the week before the race, I had come to the conclusion that this WAS the most prepared I had ever been for any of my previous marathons. I had not cheated on any miles, I had done speed work, and even started eating better to accompany my training. On paper, everything was great.

Fast forward to two days before the race. A co-worker casually says in passing - "Good Luck - Wow - St. Louis, good luck with the hills and heat!". Huh? I jumped on the Go! St. Louis page and looked for a topographic map of the course showing elevations of the mileage along the route - nothing. I then jumped on weather.com. What - severe weather and heat forecasted for the weekend? I then jumped online and found http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/30464688 - a map of the course hills. Well - that afternoon the large lump started forming in my throat. WHAT had I gotten myself into? How did I not know this was a hilly course? All other 5 marathons I had run were 'flat as a pancake' - I guess I just assumed this one would be the same. And the weather - WHAT?!? I only run spring and fall marathons to avoid hot weather - not attract it. I quickly found myself more nervous about this race than any other race of my life.

Friday night we drove from Chicago to my parent's house in Raymond. I've decided in my mind at this point that 'I just want to finish'. No thoughts about PRs, just finishing. I try to sleep soundly Friday but nerves get the best of me. Saturday we head to the expo. By this time, the thunderstorms had been removed from the Sunday forecast, but in its place were high winds. I approached the Pacing Team table to sign up for a pace group once we arrived at the arena. Confidently I say to the 'fit Australian' sitting across the table who is one of the pace group leaders "4:15 pace group please". Without blinking an eye or wincing, he looks at me and says

"Do you know tomorrow is going to be dangerous? 30 mph gusts and 85 degrees? Are you prepared for this and that time?"

I nearly melted in that spot. Since we had arrived in St. Louis that morning and the twins had run the 100yd dash children's race, I had convinced myself that I was over-reacting and everything would be fine by tomorrow. This quick dose of reality from the pace leader drove my anxiety to a new found level. I confidently agreed to 4:15, signed up, and moved on. I quickly walked the expo hall with my family before we headed back home for the night. I can't tell you how nervous I was. Even that night at bedtime in my parent's house - I nearly cried when talking with my husband about it. I remembered flashbacks of Chicago 2007 and how awful that day was. I KNEW how bad it could be with bad heat, and now we were heading into Heat, Hills, and Wind. Seriously, I asked if he wanted to make  trip me on the way to the car to accidentally twist my ankle so we could back out.... somehow he didn't see that was an option :)

The next morning my alarm went off at 4:00am. Chris was up by 4:15 and we were heading south by 4:30 for our 1 hour+ drive to the river. The nervousness didn't vanish over night. I remember smiling once on the way down south as we pulled over at Troy and a REAL LIVE CHICKEN WAS CROSSING THE ROAD. Oh my goodness....it was so great and so perfect and simple - it allowed me to forget the obvious and enjoy that 'moment' - I even updated my facebook status at 4:55am about the humor of traveling thru Southern Illinois and seeing a live chicken trying to cross the road!

We arrived and found free parking (yay!) at 5:40am only 3 blocks away from the start line. I met other people in the corral, all were excited - none really freaking out like me. Something hit me - I remembered what I was thinking just earlier this week -

"I am MORE PREPARED for this marathon than ANY marathon I have ever run"

Yes, suck it St. Louis and your awful marathon conditions, I'm here to finish and do great and you can SUCK IT! So, that was my new mantra as I met my 4:15 pace group, our fearless pacer Al, and all my newfound comrades. Quickly, I had turned from frightful runner to warrior in an instant. Next thing I know, the race had started.

Lucky for us, the race was only upper 60s at the start, and great cloud cover. I really don't remember the sun opening up till we came back from the Anheuser-Busch/Soulard area. I came out of the gate very fast and feeling perfect (I had tried to run, eat, and drink everything to the 't' for the previous 7 days). After mile 2 - I decided to pick up my pace to take advantage of my great feeling and make up time for what most likely will be lost time later in the race due to the heat. This seemed to work great. By mile 6, I was averaging a 9:35 pace - well ahead of my pace group, even considering the hills to A-B and back downtown. I met Chris at mile 10 at the Barnes Hospital campus and gave him a 'High 5'. He was so proud of my time and gave me some great confidence of how fast I was doing and how great I looked. This seemed to ratchet up my performance for the time being even more. As I passed him, the half marathoners were turning back to the finish and the small percentage of us kept forging west into Forest Park. This is always the time in the race where you think, "Should I turn left or right....maybe I should quit early....the hills are rough and it IS getting hot out here"... It is a very typical angel/devil conversation over each of your shoulders on what to do. BUT, I had just spoke Chris, done a real High 5, and he promised to see me at 22 or 23. So, I HAD to keep on and I really was ok with that.

About that time we started to enter Forest Park. This is when I first started to realize, not all is perfect anymore. The sun was bearing down, the hill climbs were more frequent and more taxing on me, and the wind was UNBELIEVABLE. I am a heavy drinker (hold the jokes, I'm talking water and gatorade here people!) and since I normally run and train alone at home, I was carrying gatorade also with me on race day. Outside of the water stops, I was drinking my gatorade every 8-15 minutes at this point. At mile 12 I started thinking, "Why am I THIS thirsty?" Well, I wondered if I was sweating too much? Normally, I have a great indicator on 'how much have I sweated today?' As a girl, I have a long ponytail I stick out the back of my hat. Usually I can grab the pony tail, and by 13 miles, it is soaked. By 16, it is soaked/tangled, by 20, it is a sticky wet knot of hair (why? I don't know, but it is pretty good at helping me realize how many miles I have ran and how my body is responding). So, when I grabbed my pony tail at mile 12, IT WAS COMPLETELY DRY! How could this be? I then scraped by face and felt the salt crystals. I was completely dry, not sweating, and then as I licked around my lips on my face, tasted what tasted like the Pacific Ocean the week before in California. Wow...I was dehydrated. From that point on, I made an avid attempt to drink more gatorade, take Gu every 5 miles rather than every 6-7 - and pour water on my head, back of my neck and my wrists at each water stop. I also vowed to drink every 8 minutes while running with my bottle. If I had not carried my own fluids during that race, there is NO WAY I would have finished. I was optimistic that due to race conditions, more water stops would have been added. They weren't. Forest Park was rough for many runners I saw. Many hills and no excessive water is a recipe for disaster. I knew these people would all have to start walking soon.

As we entered the Washington University campus and climbed to Clayton, nearly all runners were walking the tough hills. And I mean EVERYONE. It was a survival game at this point. I wore an iPod Sunday and I quickly became uncomfortable with the number of sirens I was continuously hearing in the background of my music. Again - my first flashback of Chicago 2007...remembering seeing the 'bodies' being worked on by medics all along the second half of the race. By this point, I had slowed to an 11 minute pace and upwards of nearly 12 minutes at times due to walking a couple of the challenging hills. But, I finally made it. I remember heading on market east and seeing this amazing US Flag blowing in the wind as we went downhill....seeing how stiff it was and reflecting on how unbelievable the weather was at that moment - but also made me truly appreciate how much I had struggled just to get to that point. At 23 Chris was there to cheer me on and even was offering to run the last 3 with me, in jeans!. I confidently explained how I was staying hydrated and even though I was in pain, was doing great considering what I had just conquered. I have him one more High 5 and said 'See you at the finish!'. The last 3 were very long and still hilly....but enjoyable by this point. More spectators lined the route and the medal was in sight.

Many times had passed throughout the day were I had accepted that I wasn't going to finish or that it would be cancelled like 2007 in Chicago, but at this point - I KNEW I would finish and be able to run across that line with my family looking on. I climbed what I believed was the final climb on market st....only to realize that there was one more - right into the finish line. So, even though I had stopped feeling my quads back in Clayton, I mustered up the energy to sprint at the end envisioning I was Rocky as I waved enjoyably to my family!

The next couple moments were a blur.... I believed I nearly passed out and my chest felt tight for a moment. I took a drink from my bottle and looked over the fence again for my family. What an amazing day. The time of 4:45:16 didn't reflect a PR, but it did reflect the best racing accomplishment of my life, hands down!

Not until 6:00pm that night did I learn from an online news post on my web browser on my phone, on what REALLY happened in that race. By chance, I was in a forward corral, corral C, running faster than I 'should have' early on....only to have beaten the forced closure of all full marathon participants at mile 10, only 30 minutes after I had crossed that point. I immediately felt bad for all of those other full marathon participants that didn't get the feeling I had - I was also amazed and confused as to why would they let me and the others keep running? I don't understand the reasoning, but I understand the point. I was there in Chicago in 2007 - I feel sorrow for Mr. Scheiber's family and what they went thru that day - tough people have to make tough decisions in an event like this to protect all athletes from the conditions that may be fatal. I would never want to be the person that has to make that call - but I whole heartedly respect them and admire them for doing the right thing, even if everyone doesn't understand or appreciate the finer points of that decision.

Today, 49 hours after I finished the race, I went to the gym to stretch. I wore my marathon shirt proud, and even shared some of this 'war story' with them. I am still puffing out my chest and am not even close to coming down from this high anytime soon. What a great experience I can say now that it is over. I am confident I have learned more about myself in this process, I am a better person having went thru it, and to be honest - I can't wait to run again (which by the way is Chicago 2011 in October - I know, one marathon a year is my rule - BUT - my best friend and I are raising money for Down Syndrome awareness for her daughter/my god daughter and well - I couldn't say no when she asked! Sorry Chris :)).

Until then, I'm going to enjoy the next week of relaxation, with no miles, before I do a couple small training runs for the Illinois HALF Marathon on April 30th!

Here are some great pics on race day!



Before the race - nervous but ready to go!

 





The great band in Forest Park.  Most beautiful view the entire race!

 


Showing off the medal to one of my #1 Fans!



After the race with Chris and the Twins!